The Call for Men to CHOOSE Happiness

May 19, 2023Life Coaching, Men's Health, Mental Health

“There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path.”

“There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path.” That quote from Buddha seems to illuminate that if we place stipulations on our happiness or view it as a destination, it could never arrive or will be short-lived. Contrastingly, if we view happiness as a choice, regardless of circumstance, it will be so.

I can attest to this professionally as a men’s coach and holistic personal trainer for over a decade. I have worked with an array of men ranging from multi-millionaires to men living simple, quiet lives in the country. Being a multi-millionaire and seeming to have it all does not mean that happiness is included. In fact, many of these men are depressed and unsatisfied and some of the men that live simple lives are the ones constantly beaming with smiles. Yet, the reverse is also possible; a man living a simple life can be depressed and a multi-millionaire can be happy. This could be because only 10% of our happiness is determined by circumstance according to the psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. Her studies also show about 50% of our well-being is genetically determined and we’re all born with a certain temperament. But a whopping 40% is under our control. I repeat, 40% of happiness is under our control.

Another study in support of this notion was conducted at Harvard University. This study followed a group of men through every stage of their lives from youth to old age to discover what factors lead them to flourish. This was the longest study ever conducted on happiness and revealed two big things: taking care of your health really matters (exercising regularly, not smoking or abusing drugs, eating right) and men that stayed happy were the people who had the best connections and relationships throughout their lives. Both things are a choice.

The natural step that follows a choice is action. One of the best ways to nurture connections is to be active with a friend, coach, or personal trainer. To practice gratitude, focus on a wellness program with your friend, coach, or personal trainer, and nurture relationships is to capitalize on 40% of happiness being in our control and allowing happiness to be the path, not the destination.


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